
    A Comparison of Operating Systems

DOS AIR
All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push
it until it gets into the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground
again. Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop
on, et cetera.

MAC AIRWAYS
The cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look the same, feel the
same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight, they reply
that you don't want to know, don't need to know and would you please
return to your seat and watch the movie.

WINDOWS AIRLINES
The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants all ver y
attractive, the pilots very capable. The fleet of Learjets the carrier
operates is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above
the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it explodes without warning.

OS/2 SKYWAYS
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers
milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed,
wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway.
Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in
hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets
outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the
real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than
Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for
the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe until mid 1995.
Maybe longer.

FLY WINDOWS NT
All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the
chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and
make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.

UNIX EXPRESS
All passengers bring a piece of the airplane and a box of tools with
them to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about
what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together.
Eventually, the passengers split into groups and build several different
aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually
reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.

WINGS OF OS/400
The airline has bought ancient DC3s, arguably the best and safest planes
that ever flew, and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if
they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every
need, though the drinks cost $15 for an orange juice. Stupid questions
cost $230 per hour, unless you have Supportline, which requires a first
class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost
$500, but your accounting department can call it overhead.

MVS AIRLINES
The passengers all gather in the hangar, watching hundreds of
technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft.
This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers.
Bigger models in the fleet can have more engines than anyone can count
and fly even more passengers than there are on Earth. It is claimed to
cost less per passenger mile to operate these humungous planes than any
other aircraft ever built, unless you personally have to pay for the
ticket. All the passengers scramble aboard, as do the 200 technicians
needed to keep it from crashing. The pilot takes his place up in the
glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realise that the plane is
too big to get through the hangar doors.

